sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
