ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
try to milk me bitch
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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