How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
try to milk me bitch
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
