john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
We talked him into tasing himself.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
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