Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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