So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I will be naked everywhere
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
