Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
