Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
