i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
