not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
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