nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Randomize
