Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
