? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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