Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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