I didn't shave. On purpose
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
