If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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