Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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