he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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