Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
