I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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