K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
