If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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