Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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