is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
