He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
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