i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
