I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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