You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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