i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
