rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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