It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
