Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Me too!
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
