We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
