you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
