"it" just moved
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
