how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
