Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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