i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
