yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
