I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
