I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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