I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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