thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
