It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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