anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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