You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
