Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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