So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I can't put those talents on a resume
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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