Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
