you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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