We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
They have beer where we have blood.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize