Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
and she was petting her beer can
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
