So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
