Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
