Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
A+ Viking dick
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